Kim Hyun Joong…[article] LOVE MEANS…



By: LazerKim


In our journey with Kim Hyun Joong as his fans we shared a lot of good memories with him that all through the years since we started following him, there was never a dull moment. Be it in concerts, album launching, TV shows or appearances, and even in his dramas, we all shared the success of all his projects for the last 10 years of his career.

I started following Hyun Joong in 2011 and started writing about him until he became my healer, until he became the person I can turn to whenever I’m sad or happy and it all happened in this site.

It is in this place that I found home with him, where my comfort zone is, that I can say what I think and feel, where I can breath on to release stress and it helped me a lot. The more I read about him the more I feel secured and the more I write about him the more I feel closer to him.

It was all happiness I can write about him that feels love is always in the air! And I’m truly happy that my co-fans find this place their home filled with love too! I’m not alone anymore!



One morning I woke up, the nightmare started and all I said was “How dare them”!! Whatelse is there for me to do but to attack whoever wrote that news and attack a woman whom I didn’t even know who she was! Looking back in the past, I realize how brave Hyun Joong has turned me into!!

That time I was all out of touch from his fans on line since I have been so busy with work so I felt I was all alone defending him. My work travel took me away from this site for about a week and when I came back the haters were here almost burnt my home!

I can only cry seeing my readers fighting with all their might in the most decent way over those monsters that I couldn’t forget. At first I deleted that article Simply Defending, but when I thought about it, why should I allow myself to be defeated? I did nothing wrong!

And so I recovered that article and shoot those haters one by one all of them out of anger! I said to myself this is the battle I have to face that I have to be strong to keep Hyun Joong and his fans intact if I still want to see my idol on stage for the rest of WT concert series.

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After the successful WT, followed by another successful Gemini series, here comes another scandal created by that same woman, however in a different strategy that obviously not only meant to harm Kim Hyun Joong but also his loyal fans.

That woman barely knew Kim Hyun Joong and doesn’t have any idea who his fans are, so that is very unfortunate for her! It may not be now or tomorrow but someday she’ll taste her own dirt and evilness.

Nevertheless, with all this painful nightmare we experienced, I’m truly thankful for this trial because I came to realize how an important person Kim Hyun Joong is in my life and in the lives of millions of fans worldwide. The nightmare proved our strength on how strong we are for Kim Hyun Joong.

The fandom is much stronger than ever that we all learned how to fight in the most decent way. I shall always remember this nightmare that made us closer and stronger for him!



One of KHJ new blogger Malavika had a question in her article, “What do we do for next two years?” I did plan that out years ago, if you have read my old article as I wrote, “I’m gonna put up a tent within the vicinity of the military camp and be the spy to get updates that I can write about Kim Hyun Joong!!”  LOL!

Before Gemini started, I was thinking if this guy leaves for MS I have to do something productive in this site while waiting for him. Since all news sites were filled with lies that it seems no one took his side to defend and concealed the truth, I hope this blog site can be a help to enlighten in the future. And my count down had already started in doing so!

I want to write about this nightmare again in the future when there is no longer pain that probably I can get to understand those detractors. I want to understand why this nightmare was bound to happen and how can this be relevant to the future.

Writing all about Kim Hyun Joong can make me feel him near even he’s far away in his MS. I will always remind everyone he’s just beside us preparing for his future stage all for his fans!! No promises though just simply living my life without him around and wait.

Malavika Blog Site: (pls do check this out, thanks!)




May I ask this sincere question, with all honesty? Did you ever doubted Hyun Joong even once within the nightmare? I did, as a natural reaction. I doubted on him for so many times that I just couldn’t understand whenever I get to this site which became more frequent than in 2013, I felt mysteriously very sure of myself and very sure of him!!

And I was right, I made the right judgement on him, for the longest period that I followed him, to the extent of bargaining on my time and effort, still love and trust prevailed. That all I can think of is to fight for the truth, and trust led me in defending him.

There’s this old song from a classic movie which I heard from an old man, (my boss who was a very good musician) singing this meaningful song. I think this song is perfect at this period which I would like to share with you.

We may be in this test, we may experience sadness and weary at times, I hope this music can remind us of UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. Listen to what this song says..

video source:



The song says, “Love means without a word you’ll understand”  Hyun Joong has been keeping silent that for me he need not say anything, because deep inside me I understand him even without a word.

The song says, ” Love means you never have to say your’re sorry”  if you really love a person, you know for yourself there’s always a room for forgiveness that you can sincerely give.

The song says, ” Love means we’ll never really say goodbye” if you really love a person you just don’t give up or end up, if he has to go… let go and wait, because he’ll be back!

To Kim Hyun Joong,  

“Wherever you are, if you get lonely out there, just look up the dark sky and you’ll see all of us within those tiny stars. As we look up at the same dark sky to search for the biggest star, knowing that star is YOU our only one…..We shall be waiting till you come back to us…..God bless the twins.” (KHJ and fans) 

                                                                                            LazerKim here writing

Photo credit as tagged, thanks Ms D!         Video credit: Heart4MusicLovers, thanks!

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134 thoughts on “Kim Hyun Joong…[article] LOVE MEANS…

  1. I think that you hare company so camping together and let us know as this our Hyun Joong lol write very certain things and beautiful at the same time as I felt very reflected as you see to Hyun Joong in your life because I happened something similar and it continues happening to me when I feel alone and sad I come to the… continues to write so cute ok thank you greetings from bolivia




    Thank you, Lord, for being there for KHJ and allowing me to cry out to you in times of his need.
    It is amazing to me that the Lord of the Universe would take time to listen to me and to care about what I say.God, there are things happening around KHJ right now that I do not understand. Some of these things make him feel weak, helpless and afraid.Even in the midst of this, I know that you are the Lord.I know that the situation is in Your hand, and I trust You.
    I beseech you for strength and for wisdom that Kim Hyun Joong would be able to endure this situation and be able to handle it in a way that would bring glory to Your name.
    In Jesus name. Amen.

  3. To me, love is ……………. to love in good and bad times. to have faith in the person and real love never remember the bad or your silence, but remember the good and the laughter.

  4. First & foremost I would like to apologise if my words were to offend some of our dear posters.
    It is not at all intentional but since Ms Lazer did say we could air our candid thoughts, so here goes :

    I’m sorry but why do you need to question our boy that?
    About him needing us, valuing or thinking of our feelings?
    Whatever & however we feel at the moment could never compare to how he feels since he’s in the centre of it all.
    What about us? Are we him? Are we going through what he had & still is going through in reality?
    Yes, he’s bad if you were to compare him with other artistes or even his members when it comes to communication.
    But he has always been that way since way back & yet we still prefer him.
    No one coerces us to choose him over any other artistes.
    So now why all the clamourings & ominous, well, threats to the limit of our love & support?

    I think he has already done all he could in order to reassure us during his GEMINI tour.
    All the fans seemed to have understood & even promised to wait for him.
    But look at us now ~ it has only been a month or so yet we are the ones making so much noise.
    How is the promise to wait for 2 years ever going to be achieved if we couldn’t even tolerate the silence of a few months?
    Wouldn’t the antis be rubbing their hands in glee if they were to see & hear that his fans are the ones creating so much ruckus now?

    As I’ve said before, whatever happened to the plea of ‘Pray for KHJ’?
    It seems to be really short-lived, doesn’t it?
    Perhaps we should continue with our well-intentioned wishes a while more or at least for 2 more years…

    So, why don’t we?

  5. It appears that most of us are long distance fanfamily. Therefore, I agree with many of the commenters who are telling us to calm our spirit. Will our worries,anxieties, or uneasiness change anything,no. It does not add or subtract from the situation, but what it does is give you more problems. So, like HJ asked us in his Gemini Concert let us live well, eat well,healthy and meet each other again. I too love this and many other blogs because I have met very interesting individuals from around the world of like minds, who spread love, joy, unity,peace, and not hate. The person responsible for all of this is the parents of Kim Hyun Joong who brought him up to love God and his fellow man. This is why he has not said an unkind thing about this brothers in the entertainment business, even though they have said things about him. We have anxiety and we are anxious because he has not spoken. Well, I am remembered, especially this time of the year about another person who did not speak to defend himself when he was falsely accused. The scripture tells us he said not a word but in the end his accusers had to shut their mouths because he came out victorious. Let us hold on to our Faith in God and do not let us bow down to what man what us to do. Trust, Believe, and do something Positive. We can’t control this situation or do nothing about it except what we have been doing, supporting Kim Hugh Joong. Peace Love Joy.

    • To all KHJ’s fan, please do not be a doubting Thomas, I know that trust is but a word,but it still has meaning, a feeling that’s always worth achieving and is a must.Trust shows your’re mine,
      I always will trust you.I hope you all can do the same,Because my trust for KHJ Is fueled by the love that he has for his fan.
      Trusting KHJ is not hard, but trusting the media or the rest of the world, now, that’s a different matter.But I trust KHJ, as I trust the Sun to rise, he should feel free to take time to sort out the problems without us.Sometimes words fail us,we cannot find the truth within. Afraid, we feel unworthy, our need is overwhelming,Crippled with self-doubt, words betray us,But i want you all to know that Kim Hyun Joong’s heart is as honest and true as the shining moon.Fear not, he will always be here.Sometimes he might hide behind the clouds,But he will re-emerge to warm all of our hearts, and for me I would trust him with my life. I still believed in him, my faith in him will never ever shake.

  6. Let me share you a message which I found in my mail, realy perfect for him. I tried to translate it, hope you like it.

    Quien te lastima te hace FUERTE,
    quien te critica te hace IMPORTANTE,
    quien te envidia te hace VALIOSO,
    y a veces es divertido saber que,
    aquellos que te desean lo peor…
    tienen que soportar
    que te ocurra LO MEJOR!!!

    Whoever hurts you makes you STRONG,
    whoever criticizes you makes you IMPORTANT,
    whoever envies you makes you VALUABLE,
    and sometimes it’s fun to know that,
    those who wish you the worst …
    must endure
    what ´s THE BEST FOR YOU !!!


  7.’s heating up a bit in here..hehe
    for some reasons, I do believe he’s working hard to solve his problem right now..he always works in silence, we might never hear of him for sometimes and then voila, he’s having his album and worldtour and drama..he only wants to give the best, remember he said : I wanna be the one that my fans wont be ashamed off..
    he’s working on it maybe he wont reveal before it’s perfect (as for him)
    the same goes for his MS, he once said that he will go quitely and say goodbye on worldtour..actually he did say his goodbye to us during his tour..
    as for the official statement that he’s already in or not, we can only wait..whether with anxiety, worried, frustrated, angry, mad, sad, anything..that’s how much we love him to keep craving more about his well-beings..but in the end we have to wait..
    for how long I dont know..
    if I could knocking his door, I would..drag him out and thinking the way out, I would..
    but as a far far away fans, the least I can do is just wait (maybe not patiently, but just wait)
    he will come back to us, that’s his seems hard with his situation right now but I choose to believe that he will come back to us..
    keep on encouraging each others in situation like this..after all we are in this together 🙂

    • I agree…he must be trying hard to solve his problem..we have no choice other than waiting for him…i do believe he will clear all his problem and give us a massege bfore he enter to MS..
      I only trust khj…

      • Dear Berlin, LK and all including dearest henecians,
        My love and warm regards to all, all the way from Malaysia.

        I am too while working and doing my daily chores, some how will think about him. Is he ok or not? Is he eating well? Is he doing fine? Is he..this and etc yet we just need to give him some space (hopefully not that long) to sort things out and working on them.
        While doing that, we should live ourselves happily and praying for each other strength to endure this challenge.
        I agree that there are some of the points that have been pointed out over here that KHJ and his management team must improve in terms of communicating with his fans. Some of us or somebody else could conduct Idols Crisis Management classes (just kidding, although I personally think this is imperative) on handling any crisis that occur.
        However, one of my friends (Maridel, that I got to know from this blog) told me that Gemini tend to do things quietly (forgive me if I am wrong) and as a Libra, I deal things and look at them differently than Gemini.
        The unique part of this diversity is it unites us under one roof (KHJ’s fans) that we want the best things for him due to we love him. We care about him and that’s why we all share our thoughts (what we have in our heart and mind) over here.
        Just chill out and keep on being optimistic even the worst things happen in our life.
        Oh my gosh..I need to see my chicken soup..he..he..he..
        I love you all and love to read your thoughts as I respect everybody’s point of view as this all call ‘diversity’.
        With love, Hazell, Malaysia

        • KhjLuv,
          I hope the word would be ‘see you all soon’ or ‘wait for me’ not ‘goodbye’. May sound the same, but the way it is being interpreted, is different.

          • Since he said he will comeback after MS(during gemini) ..i think it will be “see u soon”..juz not sure when he will comeback..myb its would be more than 2years..but its ok..we can wait for him and accept him whenever he decide to stand in stage again..

            • Yup khjLuv.. agree.
              I watched his time capsule video at the youtube. He said sayonara and itekimasu (sorry if I spell wrongly)..same goes with the word sight..should be sigh instead, typo error.

  8. from my wild thought, when hj want to make a move (something good news) this whonamedchoi and their camp will immediately to pull him from doing that… this is why hj in silence… well, how much you can stop him,you got punish from God! you cant ruin him forever because God love hj more than you….well,my thoughts…no offense feelin…
    may God bless khj&family, big henecia family, Ms.Lk and me….^_^

  9. To all Doubters
    Miss Angelaaj this is for you:
    Don’t be so quick to believe what you hear because lies spread quicker than the Truth!!

    The Truth Always prevail and has a way of coming to light, maybe not when we want but at the right time. So have some Faith ladies and a bit of patience.

    Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth.

  10. Bella on April 1, 2015 at 12:32 pm said:

    Dear everyone,

    i understood that a lot of HJ’s fans feel anxious and frustrate about his silent and we are worried not knowing what is going on with him especially about his MS.

    At this point I really agree with a comment below from Ms anonymous from Malasia. It’s really useful and helpful if we do nurture our feeling and mind in order to put our hearts and soul in peace. When our heart and mind are clam we are more clear , fresh, strong and shape. We then can respond to the situation in a more productive way and do not feel cornered by any situation. i believe this is what HJ has tried to do too.

    I really hope we also can nurture each other here to accumulate positive input to our heart and soul to gain our inner strength . i think this is the very time that we can use our love for him to minimize his pain and not expecting his love for us to minimize our suffering. His world is up side down now he is probably working so hard to gather his strength to believe in himself once again.

    It seem to me that Callmechoi woman has powered to control SK ‘s medias and shut their mounts talking bad about her beside all her suspicious behaviors. It means this Callmechoi has strong back up she either come from mafia business family or has somebody in a position that she can lean on. Considering this possibility it’s not going to be easy for HJ as this woman clearly showed she aimed to ruin him . I believe she and her friends probably follow all blogs about Hj and his fans . If my assumption is true it is proved once again that family well or education background can’t guarantee dysfunctional practice , poor behavior or morality and dignity.

    I ‘m sure HJ will gain more strength and confident through our unconditional love and trust. I wish we can show him and others the beauty of our love and trust we have for him The kind of love and trust that only aim to heal all wound in his heart and mind..

    • My dearest Henecians,
      Warm Regards from Malaysia.

      I do agree with you Bella. The main thing that we all henecians to do right now is be calm and positive. If you have negative thoughts and feel depressed, deal with them. Some of us dealing with these negative feelings by prayers. Some of us need to do something like water gun thingy, or any thing that can bring out the negative emotions that we have inside our soul. Please do anything that will bring the real positive and calm of you. This is important as we need to show to the other people (whom hate him for nothing) that KHJ’s fans are calm, positive, matured and handle things in optimistic ways.
      Go and do something (as long as it will not harm your body, mind and soul, please we need all henecians to be healthy and positive!) that can bring out the NEGATIVE feelings and come up with the real Unbreakable Henecians!
      Come on guys, be positive!!! This little thing does not upset us! This is a challenge that we need to overcome. And the best word to reflect this is ‘Just break it, break it down! Down!! Down!!! (Quoting one of his songs).
      We are UNBREAKABLE!!!

      • totally agree with you hazell with the bottom of my heart, Henecia sisters don’t forget that he can feel our feelings, so please be positive so he can be.

  11. Kim hyun joong,may God guide ur heart, love u. sincerely lets all have Faith.our hyun joong will be triumpht.Peace..

  12. Please update the status of what’s happening with KHJ’s scandal. I am worried very much and don’t know what to to believe. I truly believe in him. I am worried hope that this wouldn’t affect his career.

  13. At the request of a fan I am posting a tweet that I wrote this afternoon… Hope you don’t mind. I wanna make sure that everyone understands and just clarify that I am not going an inch away from the fandom. It’s just that many fans I know think the same way I do, but can’t find the strength to voice out their minds since it may be taken as we are criticizing HJ.

    This is not my goal at all. But I do not agree with how things are being handled and fans left out just wondering by ourselves. And please, I hope no one asks me to trust in KE… that’s not gonna happen. If there is something I learnt about Hyun Joong during these years is to be honest and this is what I am doing here. And when I ask him to talk to us, I ask HIM to communicate with us, not KE. Well, here’s what I tweeted:

    “Hyun Joong are you aware of to what limits you are pushing us with all this uncertainty, anxiety and silence? I’m aware of the nightmare you’ve been through these last months but we have been there with you too.

    I really love you but please have a little compassion for us as well. Honestly, you have no obligation towards us, we are your fans because we chose it to, but after all we’ve been through with you, I personally think that just a ‘goodbye’ would be enough for us to move on and start preparing for your comeback. But this damn uncertainty of not being 100% sure where you are is really killing us and it keeps rumours to continue spreading on and making us worry and anxious.

    So please just give us a sign, a word, so that we know and can continue with our lives.

    A humble fan’s opinion.”

    • Dear Marutasan_KHJ,

      I just want to say that I understood your frustration quite well because I felt exactly the same a week ago. I’m O.K now.

      What I did is I try not to speculate the situation he is now. i believe he will do what is best for him. I tried to think how he would feel and I found what we feel can’t compare with how he would feel because it is a nightmare for us but for him is a reality for his real life. The impact toward him is much greater than us. I’m sure his worry would be much greater than us too.

      I understood that the medias in SK are waiting to tackle everything he said. Whatever he say will never be good for him. We already experienced that. I think right now he needs to find the way to put his heart in peace first before he can have a clear idea how he will move on. I’m sure he is well aware of his fans but i think he need more time for himself.

      After thinking about all these I then take care of my feeling more and asked myself why I worried so much about this …the frustration I had is for HJ or for myself. I found that I just wanted to fulfill myself and to get rid of my worry without thinking much how painful he would be . When i realized this I tried to put my heart in peace . When my heart is peaceful I feel i can handle my feeling much better and can be more patient with HJ’s silent. I trust him more and respect his need more. I ‘m sure he has a good reason to be silent now . Whether we agree or not. he has to do what he feels most comfortable. We, his fans knew well this is always his way. I’m quite sure hurting the fans is the very thing he will never want to do. His life. his career and his future are crucial now . The message ” thank you ” that he sent to fans through his manager let us knew that he is O.K. Please be patient with him.

      The things I learned from this situation is worry and frustration make me feel hopeless and little . Peaceful heart and acceptance give me strength and power to express my love constructively. love is understanding without having to say , patient, support and to be there when needed.

      Please Don’t take me wrong .I really understood your love for HJ and your concern for his well being and safety . I just feel , let all of us his fans stop worrying about him for a while , trust him that he will do his best for his life. We just let him feel he is loved and supported . Make him feel home whenever he think about his fans.

      • Hi Bella,

        I understand what you say and that has been my stand precisely until now. I can’t compare what HJ’s been through to what I or any of us as fans have been going through because it is impossible. And I certainly wouldn’t there to. This is something he is living in first person, in his own flesh, whereas we are just experiencing from the distance which is leaving us quite frustrated, and making us feel useless so many times by now. I only hope he gets back to his feet and fights back with all his might!

        However, what I am complaining about right now it’s not about the scandal itself but how the enlistment issue has been handled. He wanted to go quiet, no problem with it and fans knew and would have respected, a different case it would have been the media though. But not having the certainty that he is gone or not is really driving all of us nuts. It’s as if fans were being punished by leaving us hanging with this doubt. I don’t know in what state he is right now and maybe it’s my mistake to think this, but I don’t think we are asking for so much. Let’s be frank, Hyun Joong’s never been good at communicating with fans… His official sites were supposed to be the communicating platform between him and fans but to me they are a joke, especially the SK one and I can say I am an official Henecia. He doesn’t have any sns that he personally manages either so communicating with him is really hard for all of us. We can do many readings of his manager’s or friend’s posts as we want, but it is not from them from whom we need to hear. And even though I am grateful for them to post them, these messages often also lead to spread more rumours and confusion. Confirmation can only come from him or his agent .

        • I don’t now why people think he has enlisted in the military?? For one KE sent out a press release that his enlistment has been delayed. The last thing KHJ needs is for his company to send out a false press release to media. They just would not do that at this point in my opinion. Secondly the military is not going to hide his enlistment just because he wants to enter quietly. The military is a publicly funded military and they got so much negative publicity last year over special treatment to idols that they had to take down their public relations unit that they mostly put idols in so to sneak an idol into military service would be giving special treatment and it is highly unlikely they would even consider doing this. I would definitely believe just as KE said, his military enlistment has been delayed and they are not willing to comment on the personal reasons why. Everyone will just need to wait for some word for KHJ or Key East. It has been a month so it does seem odd but until they release something official I don’t think anyone can know for sure what KHJ is doing. I am pretty certain military enlistment is not it.

            • Who is Ms Monitor? Why can’t I air out my feelings too if I am a reader? Just because I don’t believe he has gone into military service? Don’t I have the right to air that? I am a registered henecian who registered back in 2011. I have read here off and on for a year. I am a 55 year old mother of 2 boys and I work for the state. I did not pull my post out of the air. I researched it and asks several Korean associates who are a part of our Asia delegation here and a coworker who just returned from Korea after teaching English for many years. People say don’t believe the lies but we are to believe that KE is blatantly lying in press releases? I’m sorry i just don’t don’t believe that and no I don’t know a Ms. Monitor.

                • I still don’t know why people think that. It’s on Facebook too that many fans think he’s secretly entered ms. When I asked about this I was told that the entertainment industry has tried to get idols exempt from ms because they bring lots of money to SK so they would be like goodwill ambassadors for tourism but that the military has been against this so they always make sure public knows that the idols are serving their ms with no favoritism. So I don’t know why people think the SK military would sneak him in but even if someone believes that then now why wouldn’t KE just tell fans he is now serving his ms if in fact he has already gone quietly? I really worry that some Henecian’s are setting themselves up to be very disappointed if they believe Hyun Joong is already in ms and they are counting down his comeback. I read that the age has been moved up to 35 now so KHJ could possible delay this for awhile I would assume. Maybe I am wrong but I can’t think of any reason his ms would be kept a secret after he had already enlisted.

                  • Bcoz HJ said so. He wants to get in silently it’s his right. See, you’re worried too. This is just being true to yourself, why else would you ask why people think this and that, if you’re thinking just the same as them! You may never know he’s already filing a case against that woman! At last!

            • I stand corrected, I registered as a henecian in 2012. I would not want to be accused of being a liar so I want to correct that.

              • Re HJ IN MS:

                LET’S ALL RESPECT HIM!



        • Dear MarutaSan_KHJ,
          Good Day to you and all of henecians!
          I can understand how you and others feel. From your point of view, I can see that much improvements can be done for KHJ’s part to communicate with us; his 5 continents’ fans in the future.
          I am from Malaysia and I am far far way from him. I am too, kind of worried about how is doing over there yet we cannot do anything except for patiently waiting and trust him on his decision. I am sure he knows that his fans want to know how is he doing and how is coping with these issues.
          He is most probably in the journey of finding and collecting his strength from what has happened to him for the last one year plus.
          This incident is not only has caused severe impacts to him but his family, friends and us. And most of all, his dignity and his name and family’s name.
          I watched one of the videos about him and reckoned he said ‘I am weak and useless’ (sorry if quoted wrongly as I did not remember the whole sentences). It showed to me that his self confidence is low but to us, he is a super duper performer.
          In order to face us he needs to gather his strengths and to get up again after this incident is something that cannot be done in a day or two.I am sure he wants us to see him in his best condition and of course, to the people whom hate him for no reasons (so that they cannot keep on condemning on him again and again). People whom hate him for no reasons will continue to find faults and keep on pin-pointing at him if he keeps on showing his current state to the publics (especially during this situation) as if he is looking for sympathy or some kind of encouragements (even though he is just want to tell us; his fans that his condition).
          My opinion for MarutaSan_KHJ and others too is to increase our prayers and be near to the God during this turbulent time. Therefore, our hearts will be calmed and we have peace in our mind, heart and soul.
          Then we’ll able to face this with calm, educated and civilized manner.
          Let’s us show to this world that his UNBREAKABLE fans are those whom are a bunch of homo sapiens with smart brains and kind hearts that deal with any issues in educated and civilized manner.
          I hope MarutaSan_KHJ and other henecians get the gist of what I am trying to say after all, this is my standpoint.

          Fr: Hazell

          • Dear everyone,

            i understood that a lot of HJ’s fans feel anxious and frustrate about his silent and we are worried not knowing what is going on with him especially about his MS.

            At this point I really agree with a comment below from Ms anonymous from Malasia. It’s really useful and helpful if we do nurture our feeling and mind in order to put our hearts and soul in peace. When our heart and mind are clam we are more clear , fresh, strong and shape. We then can respond to the situation in a more productive way and do not feel cornered by any situation. i believe this is what HJ has tried to do too.

            I really hope we also can nurture each other here to accumulate positive input to our heart and soul to gain our inner strength . i think this is the very time that we can use our love for him to minimize his pain and not expecting his love for us to minimize our suffering. His world is up side down now he is probably working so hard to gather his strength to believe in himself once again.

            It seem to me that Callmechoi woman has powered to control SK ‘s medias and shut their mounts talking bad about her beside all her suspicious behaviors. It means this Callmechoi has strong back up she either come from mafia business family or has somebody in a position that she can lean on. Considering this possibility it’s not going to be easy for HJ as this woman clearly showed she aimed to ruin him . I believe she and her friends probably follow all blogs about Hj and his fans . If my assumption is true it is proved once again that family well or education background can’t guarantee dysfunctional practice , poor behavior or morality and dignity.

            I ‘m sure HJ will gain more strength and confident through our unconditional love and trust. I wish we can show him and others the beauty of our love and trust we have for him The kind of love and trust that only aim to heal all wound in his heart and mind..

            • My gosh what’s wrong with wordpress! My apology for that. Hazell pls type your name after your comment just to be sure. Your other comments has name on it though, i’m sorry for the inconvenience. pls do write your username after your comment. Thank you! God bless..

    • I am totally agree with you.. his silence is a frustrating way to be a fan… we don’t need a video or a letter. Only a word and that is… After all it is our decision to be with him. But it is pathetic because all the news are rumors and why do we feel that??? Because he is a big part of our lives and I really love him… But Does he need us right now? Does he value us? Does he think about us or our feelings??

    • Hello martha! Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I admire your honestly and I share the same feeling with you, yes I worry too i won’t pretend. This is natural bcoz we care for Hyun Joong and i’m hoping KHJ camp would be able to read from you too. With hopes we can be understood.
      I open up my comment box for KHJ fans to air out whatever we feel, we’re all different in someways even we may have the same love for him, but we may have different sentiments.
      In any relationship communication is still important, to reciprocate with one another fills in the gap for better understanding. You may say this is just an idol and fan thing but it’s still a relationship between two strangers that only us can understand. Martha you’ve been a long time fan of KHJ so I know you don’t give up easily.
      i do hope we can be heard, even just brief words straight from HJ if he’s ok and saying his whereabout will be alright, then we can have peace of mind. Thank you again martha, take care and see you again God bless..

      • Hi @Lazerkim! I tweeted to you but sincerely I dunno what happen to that tweet… O.o Anyways, honestly, there’s no need to thank me. I only exposed what a silent majority thinks and is perhaps afraid of voicing since they fear to be labeled as antis or bad fans for disagreeing in something. I said many times that being a fan is not a synonym of swallowing in everything your idol does or says and this is one of those times for me. Yesterday was a hard day for me, JaeJoong, whom is a person that I have a great affection to since he was the one that led me to HJ also enlisted, then HJ’s manager’s post and othe HJ related issues were discusses and it was just too much… Perhaps, I overreacted, I can’t deny that but sincerely I am just tired of having private conversations with other fans and see how we all agree in this, but no one would ever say anything in the open… I don’t like hypocrisy and like I said I’ve learnt a great deal from Hyun Joong, one of the things is that honesty must prevail so I finally decided to follow his example and write that. I don’t pretend to speak for every fan of his, I can’t but I do know quite a few who share these very same thoughts. Some, even that are willing to, can’t voice their thoughts due to language barrier so I did it instead…

        I really hope and pray that the message reaches the right people. Sometimes I feel like fans are just fighting on their own. HJ needs to pull himself together and fight. What’s the point in us fighting if he isn’t?! If he is in no condition right now to do so, his family and friends will surely find the ways to help him and step in for the time being until he can do it for himself. And they will always count with the fans support, but they need to fight. It is his future and his career what is at stake! And like I said to some friends yesterday, I’m planning to go to Seoul to study in 2016, if he is not back to his self by then, I swear I’ll kick his a**! Somebody needs to make him and his family realize what’s on stake and fans we tried and tried but it seems no one is willing to listen. If anyone who’s close to Hyun Joong and family is reading this, this time please, even if Hyun Joong asks you to stay away from the issue, don’t do it. Remember what happened the last time… It all went bigger and out of proportion… So please don’t step back and help him even if he doesn’t want to. Sometimes, he’s just too stubborn and too caring for others and he prefers managing things on his own, but it may not be the right movement…

        I’m not sure if this message from a fan can really prompt such a reaction, it needs to be HJ and/or his family the ones to realize that and do something. We will always be supporting them but things need to be changed and actions to be taken. Hope that at least he has a better communication with fans in the future…

          Very well said. A Big LIKE here! Hope at least someone from HJ camp will make a move and clear this.

      • Dear LK unnie and Martha,
        I too join u . Thanks for sharing a different view here . I am a new fan of khj oppa ! And being his fan , I too don’t want to swallow every thing what my idol does . But I want to try to understand him from his side too considering him as an individual just like us.I respect his decision regarding his life and career. After all I really want him to be happy and successful always . What I can do for him now is only to pray to god for him and his family to hlp him find a better solution for this problem. I also hope that it would be great if at least in future he had a good relationship with with his fans all over the world directly. It would be nice if we were recognised by kim hyun joong oppa as his loyal fans in fans forever!

    • completely and utterly agree with you MarutaSan_KHJ
      Your comment is exactly what I think, and I think many of us q afraid to speak his mind (to be honest, is very different from what you think about this blog, where most of the fans accept the silence of HJ ) for fear of being called antifans.
      Loving a idols is not synonymous to accept as correct everything your idols do, and in this case bothers me a little silence HJ. But that does not stop loving him, support and not wait for two years for his return.

      • Gut wrenchingly honest… Cannot say more cuz you said it all… Hope Hj and his family/friends will heed your words and do what’s right for him… However which way he chooses to go .. Like you and a million others, we will be with him.

  14. I miss him so much
    can any of his close collega will at least give a hint about him?that he is ok and healthy at least..
    did any henecia in seoul have any hint about his well-being at all??
    I might craving to know about this case more..anything will do whether she’s having his baby or not..whether he’s marrying her or not..but please put an ending for this..for whatever his decision is..I hope he is healthy..

    please be healthy..maybe it’s hard for you to feel happy and content right now..but I hope you’ll find little happiness on your everyday..that’s the least that I hope and pray for you..
    may you find peace with people around you..
    you deserve to be loved
    and please stop blaming yourself
    you are loved and deserve to be loved

  15. My dearest lazer kim unnie,
    My words of thanks giving will never end for you coz, you are really providing every newbies like me a platform for expressing their love to hyun joong oppa more through your articles, and holding them without missing anyone to you, henecian family and our king the only one kim hyun joong oppa.Helping us late commers to know our darling more. Let me take this opportunity to thank you once more for all your dedication , patience and sincerity to KHJ oppa.and your plan is awsm unnie coz, that really gives me a hope to keepin touch with him even in these two yrs gomawoyo.I will also pray for its success unnie.

    Now my answer for your question, Have you ever doubted KHJ oppa????No never coz , actually I was heartbroken ,I was just starting to know him more during those nightmare times, I was seeing him as my dream namja, still it hasnt changed, so this whole story was a shock to me . I know my oppa that he is a man with feelings too .I wanted to give him his freedom of choices and privacy too , so that made me even more worried about him, so what i did was rather than coming to sudden judgemental conclusions about him .I waited for him to speak up , but later i understood that even speaking up causes harm and hurt to him , so i respctd his decision to be silent even though its unbearably painful for me .during this times shain omma helpd me a lot to gain strength and stand up for him .

    Then suddenly truth started to come out that the disaster ms. nobody is the lier puppet in this game of scandal tsunamies having somebody playing her as a weapon against hjoppa behind the screen .Thanks for obtaining courage to stay strong while you thought you are alone in defending him unnie, thanks for fighting for him even if i cudnt support you when you needed my support, thanks for recovering that article for me unnie. I love you so much.I get so emotional every time i read your articles,still I love it so much coz its my home too.

    unnie i am still sad coz many other henecians other than me including you loves him more than me.I still don’t know my darling like you all know him deeply .I cry……gomawiyo coz i am able to understand and love him from all your blogs unnie sigh….huhhh!!!!now its an yr bck i started loving and knowing hin m , but i hope within this short time itslf i was able to understand him atleast to an 80% i hope. that he he is good genuine gentleman who can be trusted..I wanna love and understand him more unnie please help me…yes I can forgive him unnie coz i love him sincerly.with lotz of lobe aryan. 미안해 for this long cmnt unnie.

  16. LOVE – is patient and kind. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.bcoz love never fails and it is a perfect bond of union.
    for me patiently and silently waiting for him,is my way of showing my love and support to our only one KHJ. While doing so, I’m starting to dig good memories of him in the past and reminisce every moment of it, this will help me to know him better and also alleviate my feeling of emptiness without seeing him. ‘coz I believe for in due time he will answer all the questions lingering in our minds with confidence, knowing all our worries and concerns with him are all what matters.
    And rest assured my full understanding be with him all the time.

    Hyun joong ah, thank you for sharing your inspiring talent and determination to achieve your dreams. Yes You are our inspirations in life to reach our goals. Be strong and stay healthy! No matter what we’re still here waiting for you, love and support you all the time.:-)
    Ms.Lk thank you very much for bringing this article about love for our only one! Hope this will help us to think deeply why we love KHJ, stay and support him despite of all this? Take care,and have a lovely and blessed day:-) thank you everyone! may the love and peace of God be with all of us….

    One more day is left for us. After that we are going to miss you for 2 years. Kim Hyun Joong if you can read this pls post one pic of yours weekly. we henecias can survive for these 2 years with those pics which you post. Please consider my request. What ever Problem your facing you should give punishment to who is hurting you but you are giving punishment to your henecias this is not fair. I Love You Kim Hyun Joong. I Miss you “PLEASE DON’T GIVE PUNISHMENT TO HENECIAS ”
    난 당신 에게 김현중 을 사랑 ❤ This is Madhuri Kim Hyun Joong

  18. Thank you very much LK for reminding us the very beautiful meaning of love. Reading each meaning you quoted it’s already soften my heart. It’s also gave me an energy to be positive and productive. i found it is very useful to have a silent moment with ourselves and look inside our heart and mind and remind…why we love this man Kim Hyun Joong. How do we love him ? what we did to make him feel loved and accepted . What we did to make him feel confident , strong and secure. ?
    Did we do enough to let him touch our warm – hearts . Can he feel home and always feel safe and secure ? What we can do for him considering what he needs most right now ?

    The video from global Hanecians is fantastic . The opening message is so perfect to represent our love toward Hyun Joong. The soothing voice of the message not only put my heart in peace but also gave me strength and want to do more good thing for him. I realize if we are this much pain how much more pain HJ would be. I feel the unconditional love, the caring and the home that he can feel safe and secure from the message .I’m glade he is able to see and hear it. Hope he has a good translator with him .

    I’m sure our love and positive energy will gave him a lot lot of strength and confident. As i said before I believed the unconditional love from all his fans and his family will heal all his wound. He needless to say anything we can feel , hear and understand. Now i can say this with full confident . i think I have learned how to love better through his nightmare. It really confirms why he is loved by millions..

    Regarding actions of the woman Callmechoi, everything she did since the nightmare started in last August till her latest medias talked in February this year nothing can say it came from love. If this woman dares enough to say that because she loves him the ultimate goal of her love is to damage KHJ’s life and ruin his career.. She succeeded in damaging his career and next she aims to ruin his personal life till she get what she wants.

    Until now no one know what is this woman really wants she just kept damaging his image like a lunatic . .Whatever aspect you tried to understand her actions everything had leaded to result in one thing damaging KHJ both career and personal life. She intentionally aims to kill his character. Her motto is If I can’t have you no one can if I ‘m not happy you can’t be happy. I’m done with her here . Hope HJ will meet a better woman who has a good healthy heart who he can fully trust , love and bring out the best of himself.

    I does not want to be so mean to anyone since we talk about what is love means but I can’t help to point out what is not love. Love will not have a will to damage anyone’s life and ruin one’s career . Therefore I hope HJ will aware of it. There is nothing can be worst than living with the person who did not respect you and evil enough to damage your life and career and called that ‘s because of love. She did it twice and she will do it again because that’s the way she deal with problem. If you did it means you have put your life and career ( even whatever career you might have ) in the danger zone.

    For any case If there is really a baby involved. To marry the mother is not the only way to show love and care for the baby especially if the mother has shown no respect toward baby’s father and his family . In Callmechoi’s case it ‘s clear that they have a toxic relationship to begin with. It ‘s only make more problem in the future and only harmful to the well being of the child if the child is his.

    I hope SK will support and encourage their people to live with the reality rather than live in the hypocritical practice that not only bring more suffering to life but encourage more wrong doing and wrong attitude among its women citizen.

    • Hi me again,

      I forgot to answer your question.

      First nightmare I have never doubted I strongly believed since the started callmechoi exaggerated her story and he is innocent from the accusations.I believed he told the truth since the beginning. Whatever the persecutor office said I think it based on his honesty not Callmechoi.

      Second nightmare I was shocked and disappointed even though I believed in him. I knew he does not have an evil heart . I thought probably he believed she loved him therefore he did not want to cut relationship as enemy. I think he just wanted to keep good friendship with her but did not reconcile to be a couple again. i was quite sure she trapped him to see her again to get pregnant .

  19. I heard that henecia of korea and japan called to military base and asked about the date of hyun joong service……they told them that they did not send him notice draft for march 31…and all of these just said to medias by keyeast own……now,henecia are looking for the reason that keyeast do this and they think that these rumors may be start by keyeast instead for force to hyun joong to continue with them……and now hyun joong can not do anything because hi company is not by his side…….
    all of us know that there is not any child and she is not pregnant so she can have surgery

    • Hi Hyuna, thanks for sharing..
      From what I understand the dates on enlistment in March 2015 is from Media..and from a unofficial source together with dates of many other stars.. I don’t think their agencies will be willingly to release the dates. After all, the Military is compulsory basis. Some stars don’t look forward because it will jeopardise their career in some ways. I don’t think the Military will say things like this. Unless the fan mentioned KE said….so the officer replied.. said to media by KE own.. I strongly believe may not be done by KE. But if someone in KE acted on his own, who has no authorisation, maybe for money or revenge over some issues.. I think that person should be responsible for his own actions, not the whole of KE.. I am not surprised if anyone from the gossipy media sites purposely throw this whole thing to KE. Because this is the time they wanted to write crap again.. Otherwise they will close down!! I may not be totally right. These are just my thoughts….

    • Excuse me
      But it is another rumor, only what KE and KHJ say is valid, If they said that he recieved the call that is true. I dont think his company is not by his side, since they are giving news carefully in name of KHJ, I could say that this rumor is trying to damage the unique support that he has, the desire to let him completely alone, or a wish to find or blame someone for the decision taken by KHJ, because they dont accept it. Why they dont acept HIS decision, given to us through KE?, instead of looking and searching for ___???.
      Actually, If they do not support him , why to bother and give a statement about this, they just could say nothing and left him alone to face those medias and be eaten alive, even carefully they refer about this decision as very personal to be shared with the media, which I applaud, and I applaud that they (KE and KHJ) dont feed the media to widen the circus. It has been KHJ´s way to face media. That is why they speculate, an create stories, If they say anything, media will give their version not the reality of the news. I hate that ¨he said, she said or brings and takes stories.¨ It is not healthy, I thought that they will be with him at least till his contract finishes which is near to the end.
      Once I wrote LET HER TO SINK HERSELF, and I dont not mistake, I understand the frustration of some fans who wanted to go on March 31 to support him, even though he shared with them the desire to go quietly. I think it’s time to stop the speculations. Respect is what is required by all those who want to damage him more or who try to solve his problems.  
      Respect must begin from fans, take it easy …

  20. You know, after going back and revisiting the video of the global support, prayers, and his reaction to the singing of your story to him. I have come to realize that SK entertainment and its people underestimated the family of HJ worldwide, they were just looking at SK. But, it is stated that a prophet is not welcome in his own home. From what I have read and seen he was ostracized from the beginning, so it was easy for them to try and tear him down. But what they have done is made him stronger and his Family stronger. I have only admired one other entertainer, MJ. Just like MJ I admire H J for his creativity, and there is none like them and it will be a long time befor another solo artist can creative like them. Unfortunately, when HJ returns he will be changing will less dancing, but there is hoping that he will still create. To all those out there, thank you for bringing us together as a strong family in the Lord and in HJ, his family, and the entire HJ fathom family. To LK, Angie, other bloggers, and those who have shared their photos thank you and God bless. Also, I never believe all the things they said about MJ, just like now it is all about the Benjamin. MJ cared about people and he was naive, and very trusting, just like HJ.

  21. Hi LK… I love you writing !! and thanks for doing that =)
    I want to ask you something…
    On Twiter somebody (there are a lot of people talking about) told me that Choi has a chin plastic surgery recently… do you have any info about that?? If you have, how recently??
    Because if was recently (nov-jan) she would have problems to do that, because “she’s pregnant”…
    there are risks, you know:
    “pregnancy can decrease immune system function increasing the risk of infection after surgery… And there’re also potential issues with anesthesia, fetal monitoring & post-surgical medications required to prevent infection and ease pain”

    If this is true (PS and dates)… there’s two options for me:
    1. if she has a PS on Nov … she would have known she is preg by the PS doctor … not in December as she said…
    2. she is not preg.. and she is faking it =)

    Please,,, If you think this has no sense (what I’m writing here) feel free to delete this post… but since we don’t have any confirmation .. at this point everything is possible (and everything could happen)…

    • Hello Elisa!! I wouldnt be surprised if she hs PS its rampant in SK! I heard too she hd double eye lid repair breast silicon inplant lol everything is fake about her i think!! lol
      I dont think she’s pregnant even that she managed it fake!! lol

      • Lazerkim, LOL! i already told everyone on this forum that she’s not pregnant, saying she’s pregnant to the media is just a way to trapped KHJ to marry her. (I will damn if she is). SHE IS NOT PREGNANT.

        I am not surprised that everything about her is fake, although most women/girls in South Korea are (plastic). They all have Plastic Surgery.

    • Dear
      If the psycho was pregnant and with Hj believe me we ALL have heard by now via her best friends in the media.
      PS or not that is not changing the DNA the ugliness remain for future generations. And the inside ugliness of character is beyond repair. Appaling that she is left on the lose instead of being locked up. 😉

      • Dear
        If the psycho was pregnant and with Hj believe me we ALL have heard by now via her best friends in the media.
        PS or not that is not changing the DNA the ugliness remain for future generations. And the inside ugliness of character is beyond repair. Appaling that she is left on the lose instead of being locked up. 😉
        Somehow lost my name.😄

  22. Wonderful article!! Thanks Lazerkim!! And Angie too, for sharing the videos.. :o) For the 2 years, I believe is going to pass by really fast!! I will just count down daily till he returns.. Looking forward to take a glimpse of the biggest and brightest star , (KHJ) again!! Surrounding by his dazzling big Henecian Family!! *Huugggzzz* to you all!!

  23. Lazerkim,

    Over time we’ve developed something extraordinary, That will last forever because we’re both un-ordinary. I used to think that friends were the people that you could laugh and talk to.
    Now I know that, Friends will be with you every step of the way,No matter what people say
    They make you happy when you are feeling down,They make you smile instead of frown.
    Friends always accept your past, Support your present ,And encourage your future.
    A friendship isn’t an opportunity it’s a sweet responsibility.

    Once more thank you Lazerkim for this friendship that you’ve given us and KHJ. Thanks

  24. For me to be close to where he is, i applied for a job in South Korea, i,m praying to get the job, because that’s the only way for me to get close to know his situation and also to check on his parent often without them knowing me, just to see how they’re coping. I’m sure KHJ will emerged victorious in this battle,There’s a mountain before him,One he feel he can never climb because the distance is frightening,but I know he can make it to the other side.
    I’ve seen his strength,that he carry inside. I’ve seen his will, passion,the fight in his eyes and
    I’ve witnessed his ambition,I know he can do it one more time. Hyunjoong can do anything,and can be happy, too. Kim Hyun Joong is valuable, beautiful and brave.And I know that we know that he can make it through tomorrow,if he can get through today;I will be there for him every step of the way.

    • I agree KHJ has what it takes to climb any mountain, however I believe that he has us his fanfamily to help him command that mountain to just MOVE! The mountain has no power over him because God is at his back and everyone is praying hard for him. Than mountain will never bother him again! lol! KHJ! Faith to MOVE MOUNTAINS! I know we have it for him and I am praying his faith will get there too… Just MOVE and go on! Love your heart and thoughts, Emmanuella…

  25. Thank you for this beautiful article “Love means never having to say you are sorry”. Also, for that beautiful prayer. Thank God for all of his true fanfamily. No, I never doubted because my son faced a similar story, not famous so did not make it in the news. But, because of prayers, and Faithful family and friends God turned everything around for his good. Therefore, I believe it from day one because I found him to be a person whom God has bless with a honesty and the ability not to tell lies. I truly found him to be one that others would take advantage of because of his personality to trust others unconditionally, my son had the same problem. Now, he does not trust as much but he still have that happy go lucky personality and he does enjoy life with his family. Also, he should not run away from his story, tell it. My son does because he feels it will help someone, he shares the good the bad and the ugly. He states they had a change to destroy him but they didn’t and he is not giving them a second chance, and he hasn’t and he has more now than before. Believe God and Trust Him. Love to all. As stated in the prayer “Spirituality does not come from religion”. Amen

  26. To Kim Hyun Joong,
    I just want you to know that you’ve come to mean so much to me, you are my best friend. You give me hope when I’m all out; you are my pick-me-up when I’m feeling down, you make me feel good about myself. There will never be anyone else. You mean so much to me and your fans.
    To me, love is to share life, build special plans together, to work side by side and then smile with pride as one by one dream. To love is to help and encourage with smiles and sincere words of praise, to take time to share, listen and care in tender, affectionate ways. To love is to have someone special, one who you can always depend on to be there through the years, sharing laughter and tears as a partner, a lover, a friend. To love is to make special memories of moments you love to recall of all the good things that sharing life brings.
    Love is the greatest of all. I’ve learned the full meaning of sharing and caring and having my dreams all come true; I’ve learned the full meaning of being in love by being and loving Kim Hyun Joong.
    My sister used to say, the meaning of love is found in the word “unconditional”. Loving someone through their flaws and all. Accepting and embracing each other’s differences and compromising with their offerings. Love happens only once in a life….If you fell in love the second time then the first love you fell in was in fact just an infatuation……Love happens when you realized that you are worth for the love you are being offered… is when you care for someone, when you feel something for him deep inside your heart and love is when you think you can do anything for him If you truly love him .Love is not just cutting your hand and washing blood all over your body, love is trusting the one you love .once the letter T is removed from the word Trust, it becomes Rust and it cannot be replaced the whole life .thus Love is only CARING AND TRUSTING the one you love . Love is reality not illusion.

  27. Hi LK! I have missed you! I have been so involved in projects neck deep I have not been able to blog or read much. I am so glad you are here and the new blogger you mentioned. I have read some of her articles as well and I am so thankful there are so many strong courageous fans fighting for Hyun Joong! On the last nightmare I was blogging strong almost every day.

    I have more project ideas but I am backing off for now and will be having my surgery. I miss just being a blogger and fan! LOL! I have no time to browse or save pictures or anything! Well, I guess I will have 2 years to catch up, right?

    I have posted my prayer video for everyone on youtube and dailymotion. It just got finished last night and my surgery is two days away. I will not have time to do a blog post about it until after surgery. I hope you don’t mind me posting the links here for the fans:

    I hope the video can provide comfort to Hyun Joong, his family, and the fans while he is in MS. We will be here supporting and praying… 2 years will just fly by! Then, we shall all meet at that free concert on the moon, right! LOL! I can’t wait! My future is Kim Hyun Joong no matter what… he will ALWAYS be in my daily life. In my heart. In my thoughts. Not hell or high water can wrestle him free… it is forever and eternity for KHJ and me!

    You asked if we ever had doubt? I only doubted the VERY FIRST day I heard the news on the previous nightmare. I cried and even sobbed questioning myself and wondering if I had been a fool! But, after the initial shock and pain subsided, I remembered WHO KHJ WAS! I remembered WHY I fell in love with him… after remembering, I never doubted again… not even once! He is the same person he has always been at his core… that will never change… and so my love will never change.

    Thank you for your blog… it was through your blog I first got to know KHJ and learned as a new fan who this amazing young man was… I will never forget getting to know you as a baby fan. Thank you for being a mentor and friend! I have truly missed you in all my business. I will be resting for a couple weeks and will be able to just ENJOY my Kim Hyun Joong fan craziness! I love him and all the fans like close family. Some may say I’m crazy but if I am I don’t wanna be Sane! LOL! I will talk to you later… gotta go get ready for my big day! 3/31/15. Just b/c it’s not KHJ’s big day like we all thought i still think it is a special day of new beginnings. I hope he gets his wish to go quietly now… I want him to have all his privacy and happiness. I love you, my Joy, My Angel! Stay Safe. Be Strong. Come back Healthy, Happy, and Renewed! We will be waiting and welcome you hom with open arms! 🙂

    • Good luck Ms. Angie… Will keep you in our thoughts for a speedy and easy recovery post surgery… I am a fan ( just as I am a fan to Lk and Malavika) of your blog… You write so passionately and beautifully… Although I do not post much, I am constantly browsing fans sites and fan blogs 24/7 and cannot be any prouder that I belong to such an amazing fandom full of smart, brave and kindhearted people. Most importantly, I am happy that I found comfort and solace in the company of other fans I do not even know during this very difficult and trying time…let us all hang tough and be the best fans anyone could ever ask for so hyuN joong will feel our warmth and see our light in the darkness where he may feel the is right now.

        • lol! I thought that was strange too! I just laughed and thought crazy computers who knows what happened! lol! Thank you for your sweet words. Hope you were able to see and enjoy the video!

        • Hello Witchthet! i’m sorry about that it’s from wordpress error that i couldn’t understand! I’m trying to copy paste your username but not working! Many here doesn’t have usernames too even in my dashboard! WP fault! But I got you username! Pardon me for the incovenience! Thank you! see you later guys!!

          • No worries lazerkim and Angie… Lk … You rock! I will forever be grateful for all that you do … Then time and effort you put in for Hyun joong is amazing, I am with you a hundred percent as many other henecians… I am glad to have found a home in your blogsite and the company of a million sisters 😉I think if we all continue to be smart in how we deal with shake ups like these , and supportive to hyunjoong in glory or pain then there is nothing we can’t overcome.. Much love to everyone 😘

          • No worries lazerkim and Angie… Lk … You rock! I will forever be grateful for all that you do … Then time and effort you put in for Hyun joong is amazing, I am with you a hundred percent as many other henecians… I am glad to have found a home in your blogsite and the company of a million sisters 😉I think if we all continue to be smart in how we deal with shake ups like these , and supportive to hyunjoong in glory or pain then there is nothing we can’t overcome.. Much love to everyone 😘

    • Dear AngelJoong – that is one of the most inspirational and beautiful videos I have ever seen. I was very deeply moved by the different faiths represented and will probably play it every day as the songs by Jaci Velasquez and Chris Tomlin, and Hyun Joong acapella at the very end is so very moving on so many levels. AngelJoong – I am also praying for your surgery coming up – God be with you.

    • Angie dear! Good luck to your surgery, take it easy ok? I’ll pray for speedy recovery! Take care God bless.. Oh thanks for posting the video it’s beautiful like it!

      • Thank you, LK! I hope KHJ gets as much blessing out of it. It is being hand delivered April 1st. He saw my Valentine video and it was reported by his aunt that his cousin played it for him ‘over and over.’ I hope this one brings him peace. That is all I want for him, peace in his heart and the genuine smile back on his beautiful face! I miss him so much already! I will be preparing for him to come back and I intend to bring him for a concert in the USA! 🙂 I have faith it will happen! He will be the Global Star and reach even more fans after two years. It is a done deal!

          • That news came from connected sources I deeply trust. It is the truth. The second video is being delivered the same way. I am trusting he will receive it as well. Of course, I’d like to hear it from KHJ himself but he is being so quiet. And I am happy to let him be… it is the best thing for him to do. However, as I am involved with the UBKB group I am trusting them when they tell me any news because they don’t report anything they haven’t confirmed.

            • Hi Angie! Thanks again for all your efforts! Ever so grateful! Please take care of yourself! Good luck for your surgery! It WILL go well! Fighting! ❤ Get well soon! 🙂

    • Dear Angie, I hope your surgery is going to be smooth and you will become healthy again. We need you and all henecians to be united and spread the warm of love and care for each to this world. Only kindness, love, care, trust and support each other can defeat the cruelness, hatred, selfish, distrust and abandonment. It is really sad to see the world has been turned to the negative side instead of positive. I do hope you will be strong and get well soon so that you can be with us asap.
      Take care Angie!

      • Thank you so much to everyone for the sweet words and prayers for me. There is no way this surgery will go any way but perfect! Thank you so much and I am glad the video was inspiring. I actually have a friend who going through a very rough time right now and I decided to burn a CD for her with the music from the video. She is not interested in KHJ, lol, but I felt the songs were perfect for her situation too and i have the lyrics of to be let down by late tuesday printed on a pretty background and framed for her too. I also had those lyrics translated to hangul and they will accompany the video being delivered to Hyun Joong. I believe the fan delivering knows his aunt and will hand it to her for him. His aunt reported that his cousin played my Valentine’s video ‘over and over’ for him. So, my prayer is that this video will meet the same fate and he will draw strength from it. I am so happy to be able to create something that gives him a blessing. It’s all I’ve ever wanted as a fan.

        • Please do so angie. I am sure all of us will be happy to knowing these little..little things made him happy and gain strength to encounter all these challenges. As for now, he needs us in order for him to know that we the Global Unbreakable Henecias and Triple S always..and always be with him, during tough and good times. When the going gets tough, the tough gets going.
          I am happy knowing this from you, Angie. Thanks a million!!!!

        • Hi Angel, Tity here. What Valentine video? Where to view? The girl voice in the prayer video is very very soothing. Why HJ cousin played the valentine video over n over again? Sounds like he is depressed n cousin trying to cheer him up. Is it? What surgery r u having? Take care . Will start to read ur blog.

          • Here is a link to the Valentine Video. We sent this way back in February right after the Gemini Tour when the news came out about Toxic Woman and her baby claims. So, he was having a hard time then. Hope you enjoy it too!

  28. I have never doubted him throughout. Was I surprised of all the possible people to have made that kind of mistake that it would be him? Definitely. But, unconditional love recognizes that we are all flawed and loves regardless, supports regardless, encourages and strengthens, no matter what. The greater the beauty and purity of heart, the more noticeable a transgression by comparison. It is that shadow that enhances the light and I will pray earnestly as he leaves for his MS that the beauty of his heart be protected and healed and that he would take comfort in the love and support of his fans, who globally though separate are united in love and support of his well-being. Just #mytencents

  29. Dear LazerKim,
    You never wrote a more beautiful meaningful and filled with love article. Thank you!
    Nothing can be added more to those beautiful words.
    I hope and wish that in the end Hj will find his peace in MS and that he will cleared and free from that creature to continue his path in life and fulfill his dreams and his Destiny.

    I wish him to feel the love and support and the good wishes from this Family that are his fans.

    Always together for justice and support and in our love and admiration to this person Hj who touched our hearts.

    Keep your eyes on the stars, and your feet on the ground.
    The past cannot be changed. The future is yet in your power.
    Mary Pickford
    Don’t give up and never lose HOPE!:)

  30. LazerKim… I’m impressed for yours words… If you allow me, I would like to take them as mine… I never had been fan of anyone or anything… To be more precise… I was against the idea of people that follow others… But life showed me other face of the coin and when I knew the KPOP, SS501 and of course Kim Hyun Joong, a window was opened and two worlds met and some part of me changed, not only for Hyun Joong-ssi, but the fans… We call ourselves “sisters” among us, we have a life and each single person has the own story which has a link with the story of Hyun Joong-ssi, this people has some characteristic of him and between them, it’s a conexion. Therefore, if one part suffer or is happy also other. I don’t know if this is good or not, but remember me the solidarity and brotherhood, which is losing more every day… I don’t know where Hyun Joong-ssi is, or why he keeps silence, indeed, it isn’t important, because I understood that HENECIAS’s FANDOM have your own personality 4D -jajajaja- and this include a special light and loyalty, HENECIAS can protect, defend and keep silence and prudence when is necessary. The social media have good and bad things, in this case, one good thing is that bad time push away to false fans, and held firm to the true friends and fans of Kim Hyun Joong. Finally, what I will do the next two years? Live! Enjoy! Learn all things that I can of this story, of Hyun Joong-ssi and my HENECIAS sisters; I will work on be a better person spiritual, profesional, emocial and socialy. My window is open, I can not come back, I don’t want, so I decided to wait our Kim Hyun Joong and meanwhile read your blog LazerKim! So FIGHTING!!


  31. Thank you Miss. LK, for the wonderful article and the beautiful song. The song is very simple but very meaningful. Loving someone unconditionally there is no such words as saying that you’re sorry for. Unconditional Love have no boundary.

  32. LOVE means even if people see me crying right now,they will never understand its my love which i wnna shower on you,yes it hurts me alot. only with the thought of not getting to see you for two long years …alot that who to share my feelings with i can’t undertsand….but may be thinking about you is more than sharing my emotions with anyonels,but with your memories.Loving you made me so matured,that today i got to know love needs many more ingredients ,not only support,affection,being together to enjoy life , but also waiting for your love,struggling for your love,protecting your love,be with him forever inspite of all the difficulties,being with him to spend the life,enjoying his company….

    oppa,you know we love you right !Do i have say anything more than this ! sorry but i am not so good with words so i can’t even express my feelings right now…..its just you …you …you always make me cry.come back soon els els els …i know you will comeback ,for us ..for the shake of our love.till then holding your memories your songs you gifted us…..and waiting for you eagerlllyyy..
    saranghaeo oppa….

  33. thanks for the Link… I already posted there, and hoping that we can all support each other and KHJ during the 2+ years. I think he needs a break from everything attacking him, and with time I hope he’ll see that the trial has made him stronger, and his fans even more loyal and stronger. He’s not one of those people who doesn’t know who his friends are anymore.. this has shown him his true friends in life.. so in that way God has blessed him with this trial, just as he’s blessed with an honest nature. Not perfect.. no, who is, but honest and sincere.

  34. What a wonderful post! I remember when the scandal broke out I came running to your site. Your article gave me relief and sufficient fuel to carry on! Thank you so much for being our strength. I’m sure many of us agree. Whenever I feel low & worry about HJ I come here to read your blogs where you are talking to him & telling him how to do things! I find it so endearing! (Wish he took your advice & said the heck with those detractors of his!). He needs to stop being so nice to people who don’t deserve it.
    Unnie, thank you so much for taking your time out and reading my blog & talking about it in your article. I’m ever so grateful! I have read your post where you said you will slum it outside his camp to get all the updates. At that time I remember that it cheered me up & it cheers me up now too!
    I am with you on the mission to spread facts of the case! I will write an article on my blog every time these sick attention grabbers rise to increase their site traffic. I’m sure most of us already know about the facts et al but it’s always good to have it reaffirmed & re-analysed. Yes, I had my doubts too but they were there only for a few moments. A serious discussion with my sweet henecian gang & I’d be all sorted. Now, I trust in him more than ever. These two years will not be easy for Henecians but I will support you in spreading the truth about Hyun Joong! I cannot wait for the truth to come out! And then I’ll show them how Hyun Joong was always slighted by insensitive morons! Fighting! ❤ ❤

  35. Khj i want 2 say few words 2 u…khj koye b tuje pasand kartheho vo chakar b tuje chod naye sakthe…with lots off ♡♥♡♥♡♥……

  36. Hello Lazer unnie!!

    And there’s another thing you said back then. What if KHJ find some time to come out of the camp with his guitar. He’ll be singing all night and we’ll be listening whole night under the stars. Time has gone so fast. It’s time for him to go. Eventhough he is going through tough time, he must be happy that henecians he built up are always with him.

    I’m thankful to our precious healing idol Kim Hyun Joong and all the fans..

    Thank you Lazer unnie.. This place, this home you made for his fans, is a gift for us.. May Triple Gem Bless you all..

  37. I cried so much over this article 😦 So many thanks to U for being this much strong for HJ and us. God bless U 🙂
    About Your question, U know that I wasn’t his fan before this incident. I didn’t know him, it was just his face that I liked. When I heard about the nightmare I went to study the facts and evidences, I went to learn about his real self through fancams and reality shows. It was not the case that I had trust in him from the beginning, but I built the trust gradually. Trust is not possible if you don’t have any doubts. You should doubt and consider all the possibilities and study them carefully to reach to a conclusion. When you trust a person without a deep thought it can vanish anytime. Actually I found HJ a person worthy of my trust.
    These days I think about him very much, about his worries and sorrows. It doesn’t matter how much I try to distract myself by watching his very old vids of SS501, whenever I see his happy and cheerful baby face I can’t help crying. I know that all of these will pass and it’ll turn out to be good for him but this period to reach that settlement of feelings and thoughts is very hard. I’ve experienced a nightmare in my life, 7 years ago on the morning of 23th Aug when everything was fine I woke up in a nightmare. It took me one year to overcome it and 4 years to understand God’s reasons for this hardship. In that one year I couldn’t sleep without crying and I thought God has abandoned me and I can’t see happiness again. But it wasn’t true at all. It made me a strong, independent person who has stronger bonds with God now. I believe this is exactly the case for HJ, he will start the next chapter of his life as a far better and stronger person. But as a person who loves him and can’t do anything for him but praying, watching him suffering is very heartbreaking 😥
    Today I listened to Kpopway Farewell Special of HJ…I hope he has heard our msgs, our endless worldwide love for him. Precious boy, we are in prayer for you and will hold onto you forever…I am saying this with very high confidence so rest assure. We will remain strong for you since we know you’ll do the same ❤

    • Very insightful, dear…
      Very glad for you & pray that it’ll be the same with our beloved boy, God Willing.

      • I really touched when I read your messages. I hope he will become like you too and us whom have faced difficult period in our life a better, stronger and sturdy man after this turbulent times.

        • ThankU ladies ❤
          I truly believe HJ will overcome this. We should give him time.
          Dear Hazell, as you said I've heard so many fans saying HJ seems low confidence. But I think quite opposite.
          He deep inside knows how powerful and unbreakable he is. In my view he is so much humble that he behaves this way and also he expects too much from himself. It's a problem of intelligent ppl that can't understand the value of their work, it's simple for them so they think they haven't done something very special :O 😉

          • Hi Eli!
            Ya..actually I forget the word humble..forgive me.
            He shows to us as if his confidnece is low but in other words, he is do down to earth. hmmm…mmm (long sight…)

  38. Hello LK….
    You are totally right love is something that doesn’t need the word ‘sorry’ at all. For me the other word for love is ‘kim hyun joong’…….
    kim hyun joong oppa, fighting!
    You have given us so many memories and so we will never be alone…..and we are with you always in the form of stars, green lights, green balloons, anything green will definitely bring back the best memories!
    Hwaiting✊ !

    • Nice rhyme, dear!
      I agree with all that you’ve written.

      Dear hyunjoong-love, always remember that you are precious to us, your fans.
      We’ll be waiting for your return eagerly, so no worries…

      Be good, be safe & healthy…stay strong, dear one.

  39. i am soo in love with SS501 and kim hyun joong oppa that every line of that song i kept saying this in my head ……………love means …PASS ! *khjl voice* sorry couldn’t help it ^^

  40. As expected, I like the way you write; honest and truth. I cannot go to SK but I am going to be with you day and night just want to get to know more about his latest news. I cannot trust other news except your blog and Henecias’ websites.So please LK keep on doing what you are doing and I really treasure everything that you have done in spite of busy with work and other stuffs. Like Maridel says, I too feel that it is really empty wihtout seeing him lively on the screen right now yet I respect and understand for his decision and patiently waiting for his comeback.
    I am proud that he is fulfilling his duty as a faithful Korean’s citizen and hoping this training will strengthen his mind, body and soul.
    I feel happy as I can share my piece of thought over your blog and I feel relieved as I am able to express it be read by every Henecia.
    Kamsamida LK and all my dearest Henecia. I believe we all met over here as we are sincere and love to support each other especially our KHJ and others too.
    Keep writing LK!!!

  41. Thank u very much u are one of a kind, it is true nothing on this planet can ever seperate us from KHJ not to talk of this meaningless scandal we will continue to love and support him allways. Stay strong my prince

  42. i’m not good at expressing things but #Kudos to you sister.. your article is just awesome.. ☺☺ HJ is our ONLY ONE.. N his love makes to do incredible things.. which we thought as impossible.. ☺ #KudostoHJ

    Thank you for the article LK sis

  43. thank you for wonderful article Ms.Lk… you always write the wonderful things lead me to comment again and again… ^_^ distance doesnt matter for two heart (khj&fans) that love each other…so even we are very far away,doesnt mean we cant support each other and love each other….love like this… ^_^
    may god bless khj and family, big henecia family, Ms.Lk and me… ^_^v

  44. Hello LazerKim if god helps me. i definetly go to korea and i’ll settle their. I’ll follow Kim Hyun Joong for my life time. i want to stay in that apartments where kim hyun joong lives. i’ll stay near by him (neighborhood) and i will watch him daily direct face to face. I am preparing for that. i am learning korea. LazerKim please wish me luck. I really want to see him in real.
    Madhuri Kim Hyun Joong

  45. Pingback: Kim Hyun Joong…[article] LOVE MEANS… | LazerKim

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